No matter which side of the desk you are on, layoffs suck.
Whatever you want to call them, “force reductions”, “right sizings”, “personnel actions”, etc, there really aren’t any words you can use to gloss over the fact that a layoff feels like failure–for everyone.
If you’re the “lay-er”–the one on the company side of the desk–you question every business decision you made in the past that led up to this point. You ask yourself what got you here. You try to figure out what you could have done differently to prevent this. Then thoughts about what mistakes you might be making now that could carry you back in this dark, awful place start to haunt you.
You worry about the people you had to let go. You worry about their families and how they will cope with the loss of income. You want to tell the people on the other side of the desk that they didn’t do anything wrong–that they are great people and that you understand that a very small change in circumstance could have put you on that side of the desk as well. But you are handcuffed by the legal department and so all you can say is the human resources equivalent of the old, “It’s not you, it’s me,” breakup line.
If you are on the other side of the desk–in the hot seat–things are even worse. No matter what they tell you, you can’t help but feel like you you must have done something wrong. You will compare yourself with the other people who didn’t get laid off. No matter what the real facts are, you will think that somehow, for some reason, you must not be as good, as smart, as much of a team player as everyone else. “Why? Why? Why?” is the mantra running through your head.
Then, as the human resources director starts to drone on about separation paperwork and COBRA, your thoughts stray to your family, your spouse, your mortgage, the current state of your savings account and which friends or acquaintances you can call to see if they are hiring.
Those that are left have survivors’ guilt. They know how hard their fallen comrades worked. They fear that they could be next. They begin to distrust everything that management says.
I have been on both sides of this table. Both are bad. But, if you have to choose between being the guy with the gun or the guy being shot…most of us choose the gun.
If, however, you are the one being shot, there isn’t really much I can say here that will help, but I hope that if you read this, you can take something helpful away from with you.
Stay calm
This can be hard to do, but trust me. It’s worth it. Don’t rant, rave, or vent. If necessary, pick some calming phrase or happy thought and repeat that to yourself. Don’t dwell on the negatives. At this point, nothing you say will reverse your fate, so you might as well move on, remain professional and avoid burning any bridges. You never know when you might need a reference or be working with these people again.
Family
After the worst is over, talk to your family. Remain open to their input and suggestions. Remember that they probably rely on you for the income you generate and that this can be scary to them too. The more you support each other, the better.
Finances
Be realistic about your your money situation. Conserve your cash. Cut back where you can. Get every bit of extra income you can lay your hands on. Go online and apply for unemployment–even if you think you won’t need it.
Friends
Talk to your friends. They can be not only a comfort, but also a help in your search. Maybe they know of someone who is hiring. Be sure to ask, not only if they know of anyone who is hiring, but also if they can think of anyone else who you can connect with who might be able to help.
Plan
Starting a job search can be a bit daunting, but treat your job search just like you would any other project. Do some research, do a little planning, and map out your journey. Start with some simple concepts and work out the details as you go along. You won’t know everything you need to do right away, but don’t let that stop you. Start with what you know.
Solace
Remember that this is not going to be a permanent condition. Every story has a beginning, a middle and an end. The story of your job search may have an upsetting beginning, but it will have a happy end. In the middle you will get to meet some new people, learn some new things and go places and do things that you never would otherwise get to do. Make it an adventure.
There is nothing you can do to make they layoff itself not suck. You CAN do something to make the next few weeks or months suck less. They way you react after the layoff can make all the difference.
Stay positive. Let me know how I can help.
photo credit, midorionna
