Sometimes when you meet a person, you just know that you will never forget them.

Sometimes its because of a shared experience like laying in the back of your pick-up truck late at night on a deserted country road, eating hot dogs cooked over a kerosene stove, looking up at the stars, and talking about life.

Sometimes its because you’re together so much–at work or at school–that you just form a bond.

And sometimes its because someone teaches you something, through actions or words, that resonates with you–touches you so profoundly–that your outlook or mindset is somehow changed forever.

The theme at delputnam.com this week is all about those people–those influencers, mentors, teachers, friends and loved-ones that make us who we are.

Following is a (short and incomplete) list of some of the important people in my life and something that each of them taught me. It is by no means a comprehensive list of the things these people taught me, just something from each one that was important to me and might be worth sharing.

Humility

Charly Franks is an ordained Baptist minister and was a great friend of mine for several years when I was in my late teens and early twenties. I haven’t kept in touch with him over the last 15 years or so, but I know that he is now the pastor of the First Baptist Church in Bermuda. I am honestly not sure if he remembers me or not. It’s entirely possible that I placed a lot more importance on the relationship than he did.

In any case, during the time we spent together, Charly taught me a lot of things, but I will never forget something one thing he told me–a quote from his father. I don’t remember the exact words, but it went something like, “Even a fool can teach you something worth knowing.”

Charly was no fool. Neither was his father Thank you, Charly.

Be thoughtful

Tom Barr was my boss, friend and a mentor of sorts for many years. He shared a lot of stories, tips, techniques and thoughts about business. He was a great boss. The folks who work for him now are lucky and I’m sure they know it.

One great thing about Tom is that he has a powerful intellect and is thoughtful about everything. He is a great listener, but I have never known him to just take a statement at face value. He always forms his own opinions.

Once after a particularly frustrating meeting he told me, “Even the smartest person in the room can say something foolish.”

I always do, Tom. Thanks.

You are in control

Jim Little is really more of a peer than a mentor in terms of my career progression, but I’ve learned a lot from him. He has always been someone I could ask for advice and has rarely let me down.

He’s one of the few people in my life who I have had many open discussions with about business, career, and very personal topics as well.

During one of these deep discussions, he said something that I don’t think I’ll ever forget, “It’s never too late to become the person you’ve always wanted to be.” Which he told me is actually a paraphrase of a quotation from George Eliot, though it’ll always be attributed to Jim in my mind.

What a great piece of advice. Thanks to Jim I’ll never forget that I’m in charge of my own destiny.

Confidence

I worked with Mike Orr at a couple of different companies for over a decade. Like Jim, Mike is more of a peer than a mentor, though I always felt like I was one step behind him.

Mike is one of those people who seems to lead a charmed life. He meets celebrities on plane trips. He travels the world at will. He makes friends instantly. He learns languages by hanging out with locals in bars. He is so confident that it was hard to tell whether that was actually his first time driving through the streets of San Francisco…downhill…really fast…at night.

The first day I met Mike, we were talking company strategy. We had a great little company, but for us, this was the wild west and we didn’t really know what was going to happen with our little start-up at that point. I remember that he told me that if our fragile start-up were to fold that day, he would walk across the street to the grocery store, get a job as a bagger, be a manager in a month, have his own store in a year and have a chain of grocery stores in five years.

That confidence that Mike had gave me the confidence to step outside my comfort zone and attempt more than I thought I could.

I remember one meeting in particular where I ended up doing a lot more of the talking than I thought I should have. After the meeting, I asked Mike why the clients listened to me for that long. He told me very directly, “It’s because you are honest and smart. You have something valuable to say and they recognized that.”

Nobody else had ever said anything like that to me before. He could have been feeding me a line of bull, but it sure gave me the confidence to go into dozens of other meetings like that with Mike.

To a large extent, the reason that you’re reading this (both of you :-)) is that Mike gave me the confidence to believe that I had something valuable to say.

Whether or not anyone else believes it, I believe it. And that’s enough for now.

I doubt that any of these people I’ve mentioned here remember the specific incidents mentioned in this post. That I remember them though is testimony to the fact that you never know how what you do or say will affect someone else.

Without getting too new-agey, touchy-feely, I’d like to point out that life and business are really both about making these kind of connections. Every time you connect with someone else, a little bit of yourself is transferred to that other person.

So, as you go through your day today, connect with someone. Learn something from them. Tell them something that’s helped you in the past. Connect. Learn. Teach.

Now it’s your turn. Tell us who has influenced you. What’s your story?

photo credit, mightymightymatze